My Experience as a Volunteer at Trevecca's Urban Farm

I am a junior at Trevecca Nazarene University, and I have volunteered at the Urban Farm countless times since my freshman year. One of my first experiences at Trevecca was meeting Jason Adkins at the Urban Farm for a personal tour. This was only three years ago, and I believe at the time they only had a few animals, if
any. Jason discussed some of their plans for the farm, and his wisdom and passion inspired me. He is always ready to try new things, take on challenges, and get his hands in the dirt. In the middle of our tour, I remember being shocked when he dug his hands into the worm compost, scooped out a mound of dirt, and held it like it was a pile of gold. I swear I thought he was going to eat it. As we walked, he would pick off cherry tomatoes or berries for me to try. Every project excites him, and his excitement sends sparks wherever he goes, igniting others to be lit with a passion for learning and practicing creation care.
         The farm was very young then, and it is still very young now, but I have watched this campus flourish with new life. The greenhouse is always lush with seedlings and young plants, waiting to be transplanted into either the beds just outside or into the off-campus garden that is the main source of the farm's produce. The greenhouse used to be surrounded by lawn. Now, there are fruit trees and garden beds of lettuces, potatoes, flowering herbs, strawberries, and other edible plants thriving around it. We once made healing salve from the calendula in the garden and the beeswax from the hives. My favorite part of the greenhouse, however, is the hydroponics system, a structure that sustainably grows plants and raises fish simultaneously.  

After that first day, I knew I had to get my hands in the dirt. I have always enjoyed gardening and taking care of animals. I was looking forward to learning more about these things at school. While classwork makes it difficult for me to volunteer as often as I would like, I was able to work during the past two summers. During harvest, I brought home lettuce, tomatoes, and bottles of honey. It was two semesters ago when the farm really started to grow. The farm was given goats, pigs, and two Great Pyrenees dogs. Working with them last summer was a blast. I was able to watch the birth of goat triplets, and I milked a goat for the first time. The goats have given birth the past two school years while students were on campus, and these were very exciting times for us. Many of my friends would stay updated on how many babies had been born, and we would go to the barn to visit them and the dogs. This was especially therapeutic during exam weeks. They also have a few angora goats, which have wool like a sheep. Because I learned several years ago how to spin wool into yarn on a spinning wheel, this was thrilling to me, and  I was able to teach some of the farmers and summer camp attendees how to make their own yarn.
 I never knew what the day would hold when I came to volunteer last summer. Some days I would be washing eggs, and other days I would get in the back of the Trevecca Urban Farm pick-up truck and hitch a ride to Perk Garden, where we would spread manure, pull weeds, or--my favorite--harvest vegetables. One day I got to use a scythe. (Yes, that is the menacing-looking thing that the Grim Reaper carries). Some days, I would help move the goats' fence around so that they could eat fresh grass. While moving the fence was not my favorite job, it is one of my favorite projects that we have on the farm, because the goats do more than just graze. The farmers have been moving them around campus in order to clear out and fertilize some areas that will be used to grow food forests. We already have young fruit trees all around campus, but some areas will be forest gardens, designed to produce as much food as possible in a sustainable way. I am envious of the future Trevecca students who get to enjoy the Eden that the campus will become.
              Some of my favorite times at the farm were the times when we would be working together, whether we were pulling weeds or transplanting lettuce, and we would talk about our passion for agriculture and creation-care. I was able to learn from Jason and other volunteers about permaculture practices, environmental injustices, and countless other topics that came up in conversation. I always had questions, and Jason always had answers. Sometimes we would just discuss things we had read by Wendell Berry or how we could help the community. What I learned from these times, from taking a class with Jason, and from various workshops and film forums, has been priceless. While I am not an environmental justice major, I have been blessed by that little farm just outside my apartment window. I have learned that sometimes your plans don't end up looking exactly the way you want them to, so you try again. I have learned the beauty of planting a seed and giving it up to the earth, not knowing what it will yield. I have learned from watching the hard work of the Adkins family and the volunteers what it looks like to give yourself to something you believe in, even when it means taking care of animals during a rainstorm or bottle feeding baby goats who were neglected by their mothers. I have learned things about the world that must be changed, and I have learned things about the world--practices that have been shared from generation to generation--that must be preserved. I am grateful to Trevecca, and to Jason Adkins especially, for transforming our campus into a creation-loving community and for sharing that blessing with the neighborhood.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Means Are the Ends

Every now and then God shows me through a circumstance that He cares about even the littlest things that worry me. But if we are here with the single purpose of knowing Him, then why do we even question if our cares are too small or if our actions are insignificant? God is a God of relationships, which means He cares about us. Yet it is not the car accident or the disappointment or the test grades that He cares about, so much as it is the way that we handle those things that come our way.

Sometimes we only focus on the end goal of things. We want our questions to be answered. We want our plans to succeed. We want to know where we'll be next year or the year after. We look ahead to the results and forget the importance of the process.

***

I remember when I was a kid and my dad and I were playing through Donkey Kong Country (a process we go through almost every year). It's the Super-Nintendo one where one person can play Donkey and the other Diddy (the lesser-known monkey with a red shirt and a ball-cap). If one character dies, then the other player takes over. I am always Diddy and my dad is always Donkey. One day, we reached a particularly difficult level where orangutans were throwing barrels at us and causing all kinds of havoc. We had to go to sleep defeated that night, and we decided we would beat it the following night when my dad came home from work. The next day, while my dad was gone, I turned on the game and played both Diddy and Donkey. I played through that level again and again and again. Eventually, I beat the level and the primates did a happy dance. I was so proud. I couldn’t wait to tell my dad. When he came home, I told him I had been playing all day and that I had moved us on to the next level. 
 

But his reaction wasn’t what I had expected. He frowned and said, “I was looking forward to playing that with you.”

***

It was then that I realized that the means were actually the ends. In other words, we weren’t playing the game to win. We weren’t pushing buttons to advance to the next level and the next level. We were playing the game in order to be together. This is how I see my relationship with God.

Oswald Chambers puts it this way: "God is not working toward a particular finish--His purpose is the process itself...His purpose is for this very minute, not sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself...If we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious."

Everything we experience is an opportunity to be in relationship with our Creator right now.

The means are the ends. God cares about every little thing because every little thing is about one big thing--living in relationship with Him.

Don't get ahead of God. He's waiting for you right where you are.

Gardening Frustrations and Life Metaphors

Audrey Hepburn once said that to plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow. This is true. There is so much hope that precedes the planting of a seed. But those hopes don’t always come true. You haul wheel-barrows full of dirt, shovel it into beds, and carefully plant the seeds, soaking them in water and sunlight. You watch as they curl up from the earth like little miracles, certain their future is promising. I swear my beans grew faster than Jack’s, but I wasn’t worried about any real giants—only metaphorical ones (i.e weeds and deer).

I have officially declared war on all deer to ever cross the fence-line of my yard, except for the ones that I actually see. (They’re so cute, and, after all, their home was destroyed when new houses were built behind our land.) The deer are seeking revenge and they know how much I love my bean plants. I only have a few left, plus a couple rows of corn, some winter squash, one half-eaten tomato plant, a grape vine, and a lot of Bermuda grass, which I have also declared war upon. It’s not even supposed to be in America.
 

As you can tell, I am very discouraged. I bought a lot of seeds this year, and I don’t want to plant them all because I know what will happen to them if I do. But enough with the frustrations.

Let me tell you about something called the volunteer plant. Sometimes, if you don’t clear out your garden before your plants go to seed, your plants actually sow seeds that won’t come up until the next year. I was feeling discouraged about my garden today, when I found two pink chive flowers that resemble the resting place of a certain Whoville. Just next to these was a flowering borage, with star-like blue flowers. A little further off was a patch of cilantro, lemon balm, and thyme. Later, I realized that the mint seeds I had given up on forever ago had actually grown and were looking very healthy.

 

***

I want to have a conclusion to this that includes a big, bold statement about life. This story is all true, of course, but it is also a metaphor, just like most life experiences can become metaphors if we reflect on them in a certain way. If I just said what all this meant, it would be too much like an allegory, so, since I hate allegories, I’ll leave it up to your imagination. I’ll just say one thing. Be thankful for the surprises in life—the lessons, the metaphors, and the fact that the only results worth recording involve the way we grow through our experiences.



 

Busybody on Hold

                         "We ought not to be weary of doing little things for the love of God, who regards not the greatness of the work, but the love with which it is performed.” -Brother Lawrence


Has it really only been two weeks since school got out? When I realized that today, I nearly panicked. What am I going to do for the next few months? Thankfully, I do have some things planned for the summer. I will be spinning yarn for an online store (I’ll get back to that some other time), and I plan on volunteering at the farm at my school. I have a failure of a garden that needs tending to, a pile of books to read, trails I need to explore, crafts I need to complete. I want to practice my writing. And I am taking three online classes consecutively throughout the summer. But that still leaves time. Lots and lots of it.


I wonder sometimes if I am a busybody. As much as I love being lazy, too much of it makes me feel, well, insignificant. I feel like I need to do something important with my life. So I’ll mix up some cookies or wash some dishes or volunteer to go grocery shopping. I’ll make a checklist to make myself feel productive--as if those things were actually important.


Speaking of check-lists.
Begin blog post. Check.


Here’s the thing. Summer feels like a pause button on my life. I wonder if anyone else feels the same. Think about it. Most television shows involving students skip over their characters’ summers. Nothing important happens to them except they get a tan or sell some lemonade. When I am at school, I am investing in my future. Over the summer, I am just staying alive, preparing for Season 20 or Season 21 of my life.


Yet, when I remember what my purpose in life is, my to-do-lists begin to seem small and insignificant. Is what I am doing really as important as what I am becoming? If I thought about it that way, I could say that school and other activities invest in the short term (getting a job, making lifelong friends, gaining knowledge, making decisions for my future, etc.) while this time alone, this time of waiting, is an opportunity to invest in the long term. I finally have time to get back in God’s Word. I have time to pray without being interrupted. I have time to contemplate, to meditate, and to grow spiritually. No time given to God is wasted.


Oswald Chambers wrote that "The busyness of things obscures our concentration on God. We must maintain a position of beholding Him, keeping our lives completely spiritual through and through….Never let a hurried lifestyle disturb the relationship of abiding in Him.”

I realize that not everyone’s summers are as lazy as mine, and I also realize that the above quote refers to all times of life, not just the slow times. I want to “abide in Him” at all times, but I am seeing now that lazy days are great opportunities for not only that, but also for service. Chambers also says, “Days set apart for quiet can be a trap, detracting from the need to have daily quiet time with God.” I can’t say that summer is for this and the school year is for that. Both should be lived in a posture of beholding God and being open to Him.

Have a nice summer! I will hopefully be posting more often.

-ED

2013 Booklist

This year was my first year taking English Major classes. As I listened to what my professors had to say about these literary works, I found myself falling in love with literature even more. This has been one of my favorite years for reading, and I hope my reviews will make you want to read some of these yourself. I have found that reading, to me, is about more than just enjoying a story for a singular point in time. With the right story, it can do so much more. It stretches my mind. It opens my eyes to a Story much bigger than myself. It is a philosophical process that compels me to think about what is important in life.





So here it is. My 2013 book list, in the order that I read them.

1.      Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie

 

This book needs no review. Read it. Love it. Read it again.

 

2.      Traveling Light by Max Lucado

 

A comforting book about letting go of baggage and moving closer to God. I would recommend anything by Max Lucado.

3.      The Shack by William Young

 

While I understand the hype about this book, and the message was hopeful and moving, I personally was not intrigued by the bold characterizations of God.  

4.      Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

 

Jane Eyre is a character anyone would fall in love with. Bronte tends to write without a direction--there is no absolute plotline in her stories--but this novel is well worth reading.

 

5.      Candide by Voltaire

 

I was overall bored with this story because of the matter-of-fact writing, but by the end Voltaire slapped me in the face with a very profound conclusion in response to the various philosophies of his time. The ending was worth the read.

6.      The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Leo Tolstoy

 

This short novel delves into the psychology of a dying man, and has a thought-provoking message about what is important in life.

 

7.      Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller

 

      While I don't agree with all of Miller's theological conclusions, his questions, though-processes, and experiences are presented with an honesty and vulnerability that caused me to question the same things and move toward my own conclusions. Overall very enjoyable to read. It made me laugh and then would hit me with something to think about for the next few days--maybe even the rest of my life.

8.      Hedda Gabler by Ibsen

 

A story about the most unlikable woman of all time. I can't say that I was ever bored, by I also can't necessarily say I liked it all that much.

9.      The Cherry Orchard by Chekhov

 

An interesting story to study in a class, but not my favorite. This novel portrays a rich family going bankrupt and witnessing the working class's move to wealth.

10.  Things Fall Apart by Achebe

 

Very good. This story shows the negative effects of "missionaries" in African tribes.  

11.  My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok

 

Potok is a wonderful writer. Every artists should read this story about a young Jew torn between his religion and his art.

12.  Crazy Love by Francis Chan

 

Everything I expected of Francis Chan--thought-provoking, inspiring, and moving.

13.  Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

 

I had to read this before I saw the movie! Very fun read for a Science Fiction fan like myself.

14.  Cannery Row by John Steinbeck

 

My first book of Steinbeck's since The Pearl, this was funny, sad, and heartwarming all at once.I highly enjoyed Steinbeck's realistic and endearing (while ignorantly destructive) characters.

15.  Walden by Henry David Thoreau

 

I soaked up this book while on vacation in the mountains. I underlined half of the book. It made me want to live more simply. It's a book everyone should read at some point in their lives, maybe even several times, as it is a wonderful reminder about what is important in life.
 

16.  Les Miserable by Victor Hugo

 

I absolutely loved this book. It took me a long time to get through it--even though I listened to it on audio-book--but I loved Hugo's writing and characters. Hugo allows the story to revolve around his characters instead of vise versa. I bought the print version just so I could underline all of his beautifully-written insights about God and redemption.  

17.  Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

 

I hated the characters, but I enjoyed the book. Emily is more plot-driven than her sister, and it didn't take me long to get into this story. Frustrating as it is, it is a beautiful story.

 

18 Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy

 

Sad. Just--sad. Though wordy, I love Hardy's writing. His novel is a strong criticism of the Victorian church and sexism. Tess is a lovable character who represents the downtrodden women of the time. It is a very moving--if highly depressing--story.

 

19. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

 

This is my new favorite Dickens novel. I couldn't put it down by the end, and it left me in sort of euphoria for the rest of the day. It is a story of redemption, of light, and of life. I highly recommend it.

 

20. Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

 

Very unique. It is dense with philosophy and metaphor. I can't say I like it, but it is an interesting read.

 

21. Boewulf by Unknown

 

I liked it better the third time through. If you're a Tolkien fan, you'll enjoy reading the story that influenced him.

 

22. Sir Gawain and the Green Knight by Unknown

 

Again, Tolkien fans may appreciate it, but it is not as enjoyable as Beowulf.

 

23. Silas Marner by George Eliot

 

This book is a response to Dickens' A Christmas Carol, so of course I didn't really like it. While I always enjoy my Victorian novels and this one had a good story, the cynicism was a little much for me. Eliot's writing is also very difficult to get through. However, I don't regret reading it.

 

24. A Consolation of Philosophy by Boethius

 

A lover of philosophy, I really enjoyed this book. It's the kind of book one should read slowly and possibly more than once. The philosopher Boethius was imprisoned and put to death. This book contains his musings before his execution.
 

25.  Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy

Pretty good. I like Hardy's writing--maybe because I like metaphors. Outwardly, it's a story about a shepherd, and I enjoyed reading about the simplistic life of the farmers.

 

26. Flatland by Edwin Abbot

This book is one long metaphor, so of course I enjoyed it. Abbot uses the idea of a two-dimensional object meeting a three-dimensional object to represent the way humans relate to God in His supernatural dimension. (Or at least that's how I read it.).

 

27. The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway

A beautiful story about a man who decides to play the cello in the place where his friends and family were killed by a bomb, but also about life, the reason for living, and hope.
 

28. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

A classic everyone should read.
 

29. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

Probably the saddest book I have ever read, but I loved every word. The unique style of writing is whimsical and poetic. I have not seen the movie yet, but I recommend reading the book first to get a firm grasp of what the story is really about. Behind the sadness is hope. Reading The Book Thief was the kind of experience I look for in reading literature.


Overall, it was a great year for reading. I hope 2014 will be even better!

Happy New Year!

My "Single" Hope

Weddings. Engagements. Couples. It’s Facebook official: everyone is in love. Except for everyone else, who is single and very aware of it. We walk from class to class without a hand to hold, we carry our own books, and we open our own doors. We keep moving forward, but we look to the future, because only the future offers us a way out of this loneliness.

            This week, I felt the disease of loneliness spreading inside of me. I moped. I pouted. I ate some chocolate. Despite the fact that I am only twenty, despite the support of my friends, despite my relationship with my Creator, I felt lonely. The disease had nothing to do with my surroundings or circumstances, and everything to do with my mind.

            This is for everyone else feeling that disease creep into them. Before you pull out the cookie dough or type in ‘romantic dramas’ in your Netflix search engine, take a moment to reflect on what is True. I know this is hard. When I’m in a bad mood, I tend to feed that mood, somehow believing I won’t get better until I get worse. This is a lie. I’m writing tonight because I have a hope that I just can’t wait to share, a hope that I have to be reminded of every day.  

1.      It’s not the end of the world.

Sometimes I look at my singleness like there is something wrong with me. I think I’ll never be “complete” until I am married. But have you ever met a couple, whether married or dating, who would say they are fulfilled through their relationship? That they are always happy? That they want for nothing? I doubt it. Married people still have problems. They still have needs and fears and doubts. This made me wonder--what if my fear has nothing to do with singleness? What if I am in a constant state of want and discontent because I am not finding my joy in God? It's like when I was little and I would save up for weeks for a toy from Toys R Us. I would do chores and sell lemonade and search under cushions for cash. Finally, I would go to the store with my money in my 101 Dalmatians wallet and I would buy the toy. For a while, it would be my favorite toy, the toy I slept with and brought on car rides. And then I would find myself discontent again. I needed a new obsession, a new toy, a new reason to be upset. But maybe I wasn't upset because I wanted a toy. Maybe I was just upset, and so I made up a reason why.

 

Maybe I'm doing the exact same thing when I wallow in my singleness. I am discontent for reasons beyond what anything on this earth can fix, and so I come up with a reason for my discontentedness. By doing that, I think I have found a cure. But the cure for loneliness is not acquiring a hand to hold or a person to obsess over. If I ever did find that, I'm sure I would find another reason to be discontent. 

 

Marriage is a beautiful thing—love is a beautiful thing—but if we looked at our lives from an eternal point of view, would we not see that marriage is only a small part of the big picture? The ultimate purpose of our lives is not to decide who we will marry, but whether or not we will follow God.

2.      God is not your matchmaker

It is a common belief that God brings people together (specifically Christian couples), and they just know they are meant for each other. I am not entirely against this belief. I believe if you place yourself in God’s Will, He will guide you. What this idea did to me, however, was it made God merely a mythological cupid that I could pray to when I was lonely and wanting some arrows to hit their marks. I realized that I prayed to God more about His intervention in my life than about seeking His Will. It was all about me. God may intervene—he loves us and cares about every aspect of our lives, including our loneliness—but imagine if you constantly told your husband that you were lonely. He tried to comfort you. He bought you flowers. He cooked your favorite food. He told you he loved you whenever he had the chance. You accept his gifts, but you continue to cry and try to make him understand just how lonely you are, and all the while he is right there holding you and saying “I’m right here.” Sometimes I realize I am doing this to God. He has told me that He is the only one who can fulfill me and make me whole, and yet the only time I come to Him is to tell Him how empty I am. And instead of running to His arms and seeking comfort there, I ask for Him to send me comfort through another person.

3.      There is hope.

God puts the lonely in families. He will not let you be alone. But true comfort and wholeness is found in Christ alone. Your spouse should be there to point you back to God. He is your partner through life, but not the purpose of your life. As for me, I have time. I still have moments when I desire relationship, but to desire relationship is to be human. The worst thing I could do is suppress that natural desire. At the same time, I can’t fall into despondency and despair. God is with me. That sounds cliché, but sometimes clichés are repeated because they are true. I can put my trust in the One who made me, who created Eve while Adam was sleeping, because He saw his loneliness. I can sleep in peace tonight and tomorrow knowing that I don’t have to do anything. I don’t have to manipulate things to work out. I can sleep because I know that my God cares for me, and that He gives good gifts to His children.

 

           

I Listen to Books

Sometimes I get funny looks from people. Not necessarily bad looks. They are more like split-second flashes of surprise or confusion. Sometimes I get them when I shop at Lowes and the employers act as if they’d never seen a teenage girl buying dirt before. Sometimes it’s when I say things like, “there’s a ‘possum in the barn” or “I almost hit a turkey on the way to school.”

There have been a few occasions when I have gotten those looks after saying a sentence similar to, “I was listening to this book the other day…” And there it is--the look. The look that says, “Don’t you mean ‘read’?” And I have to explain that I really did mean listen, as in an audio book. And then I may hear things like, “That’s cheating!” or “That’s not the same as reading.”

I started “listening to books” when I was old enough to go on road trips with my family. On a twelve-hour drive to Florida, before DVD fixtures were put into every mini van, audio books were the best way to make the time pass other than my parents’ famous hand-puppet theater.
 

The first book I listened to on my own was Harry Potter read by Jim Dale, and that is still the best series of audio tapes I have ever listened to. Jim Dale’s voices are perfect (particularly Hagrid--he does a good Hagrid). I would make excuses to stay in my room just so I could listen to it longer, even if it meant organizing my closet. Of course, that was until I got an IPod with OverDrive Media, an app that allows you to download books from the library. I can now download books and listen to them while I’m driving or gardening or whatever.

There are pros and cons to audio tapes. The downs are that you don’t get to experience the classic feel and smell and mind-consuming bliss of reading the pages of a book. That, and sometimes the reader’s voice is so obnoxious or dull that you can’t stand them past the first chapter. However, there are several pros as well. First, I would never consider it “cheating” to listen to a book. For a child learning to read, yes. That would be cheating. But I know how to read. I can pay attention to the language, story, metaphors, and other literary devices and themes of a book as much with my ears as with my eyes.

Second, I am a slow reader. I recently listened to Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. As a five-part book with quite a few chapters about politics, history, and philosophy, (not to mention hundreds of confusing French words to struggle through), I would never have been able to read this book in the time I did without listening to it. Plus, I got to hear the French words pronounced and go around thinking in an accent for a month. Lastly, listening to books allows me to be productive with my hands while simultaneously developing my mind through literature. Sometimes, being lazy and reading all day is fantastic. Other times, there is simply too much to do to spend hours on the couch. My favorite time to listen to a book is in the car.

Just think. You can be reading two books at a time this way—one on audio and one for rainy days. Simply download OverDrive Media onto your iPod or iPhone, find your local library, and you can try it for free. Sometimes there is more than one version of each book, so you can choose a reader that doesn’t sound like they have water in their throat or are teaching a math class. I typically choose long books that I wouldn't have time to read, and/or books with lots of difficult words, such as French or Russian names. I am currently listening to Anna Karenina by Tolstoy, and I'm going to have to make a list of the characters before too long or I'm going to start losing track of them! But at least I can hear them pronounced correctly!

So next time you go on a road trip or have long commute to drive every day, I encourage you to use that time to read--that is--listen to books.

 

Happy Reading (and listening)

-Emily